vintage baby: the horror

If you have a lot of spare time that you would like to get rid of, may I suggest getting pregnant, going to Etsy, and typing 'baby' in the vintage section? This will also help you get rid of any pesky money you have lying around.

However, in amongst the adorable lurks... the horror. Let me show you some of the things I have seen, and can never unsee. (Click on the image to buy it, IF YOU DARE.)

OH GOD NO

 

Why do people think crying dolls are so cute? This is seriously upsetting, although that might be partly because they look like Dr Moreau-esque half-monkey creatures.

These things are called Plumpees, and they reflect a very different attitude to childhood obesity.

SINISTER.

I WATCHING YEW! HEE HEE HEE!

Well there's the opening credits for the next season of American Horror Story.

This thing is a bank. It works because once you drop money in, you never want to touch it again.

An adorable depiction of BOUNDLESS RAGE.

You better pray, kid.