OMG you guys, Fashion Week is almost here and I have nothing to wear!!! Our old pals Anya, Viktor, Kimberley and Josh are working hard, though. They each have $9,000 and 5 weeks to create 10 looks. Let's check up on them, SHALL WE?
I always love this part of the season, when Tim Gunn goes to visit everyone. Mostly because the more Tim Gunn I see, the happier I am. First he visits Kimberley. She's sewing clothes, I guess. It was kind of boring. But now Tim is off to Trinidad to visit Anya! Yaaaay!
Anya has two adorable brothers who have the same adorable accent. She tells a sad story about her brother dying that makes me sad. Show me some clothes to cheer me up Anya! Bad news: Anya has not made any clothes. All she has to show Tim is a bunch of fabric, not even sketched designs. Oh shit, Anya choked! She explains later that she had a lot of fun during the show but didn't realise what a big impact she was having until she got back to Trinidad and her family. I can imagine that this put a lot of pressure onto her. But man, Tim's visit is your ultimate advantage! Oh dear.
Now Tim is off to visit Viktor. Viktor tells a sad story about losing his brother, but it kind of loses impact by following Anya's story. Sorry! Viktor's boyfriend David is totally sweet, so maybe he is not as awful as he seems? Viktor has based his collection on photos from a trip to Mexico and has used his photos in fabric design. It is not to my taste. He has also made a trip back to a mid-80s country-and-western music video to pick up a jacket.
It is white leather with pearls sewn all over the sleeves. Tim is nuts about it. Later at judging the judges go nuts over it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? It looks like Dolly Parton's costume for a Christmas Spectacular!
Tim visits Josh, who brings his sister to lunch. I think they must get a two-for-one tanning deal. Her name is McKenzie, which makes her full name McKenzie McKinley. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. Josh's collection is full of bright colours, plastic and even lenticular fabric. No surprises there! He has based his entire collection on a godawful vintage fabric. Tim hates it. He describes it as 'homely' and Josh's eyes go all murderous. I am thankful that there is a camera crew there to protect Tim if necessary.
Now they are all in New York, in a fabulous apartment. Viktor says, "I feel like I'm going to prom! Seriously, I'm so nervous!" That is a weird analogy. Also he is wearing capri pants.
The designers have to show a 'mini-collection' of three pieces to determine which three will go to Fashion Week. Everyone is fluttering around madly, especially Anya, who showed up with a pretty disappointing collection. Josh asks Anya if he should use a blue or a cream shoe. Anya responds diplomatically, "The blue is very you!" He misunderstands and uses the blue shoe. Viktor gets his make-up done with the models and comes out looking even sillier than Josh. Anya is still cutting hems at the last minute. It's mayhem, I tell you!
Viktor's collection is... okay. I woudn't wear it myself. It's all very showy. One of the looks is a white jacket over a black top with black glass rectangles sewn all over it, and pants with a photographic print.
Viktor whispers triumphantly, "You can't go wrong with a tuxedo with glass!" as though this is a well-known fashion guideline. I'm pretty sure you can, though.
Kimberley's collection is kind of nice but also not my thing. The weirdest outfit is one she describes as great for evening or for work, which I question when the model turns around and the back of the top comes up to her shoulderblades.
It's a pity the designers didn't get to choose and fit their models, because the skirt in the outfit was NOT made for a white girl, especially not a model-thin one. It looks like it was built to accommodate at least two or three booties.
Anya's collection is really disappointing: one cute day dress, an ill-fitting bathing suit with wispy coverall, and a really awful last-minute satin evening dress. It's clear that she choked, and the satin is not a forgiving fabric for someone with limited sewing skills. Oh Anya!
Josh's collection shocks and horrifies me by not being the worst one. It's very upsetting! In fact, I kind of love his evening gown with a plastic neckpiece! His LBD is made of neoprene (can you imagine wearing something like that for an entire evening, in a warm room?) but is not horribly cut. Luckily he has a totally nutty outfit in there as well, which he has chosen to accessorise with safety glasses.
But WHO will go to Fashion Week? Oh, the suspense! The judges like Viktor (of course), think Josh is okay, think Kimberley needs some work and think Anya's stuff is pretty disappointing. It seems fairly cut and dried. As expected, Viktor is in and Josh is in (he says "I'm very humbled," which is patently untrue). The third place goes to Kimberley. Although I prefer Anya's work, she really did a terrible job here and it's a fair decision. I am still surprised that Anya is out, as she has been a runaway fan favourite from the beginning.
BUT WHAT'S THIS?!? Anya is in too! It will be a four-person show! UNPRECEDENTED! Anya is overjoyed and goes backstage to tell the others and oh my goodness Josh is PISSED. He is gritting his teeth so hard through his smile he may be wearing them down!
"I'm almost mad at you!" he says playfully (furiously). "If you weren't this beautiful I'd be pissed off right now!" Ha ha, that's a normal thing to say, for sure! Very natural!
So there you go! DRAMA. And only a few days to go till the finale!!! WHO WILL WIN?!? As long as Josh busts out the safety glasses and the neoprene, we all will.